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| The Meig |
Kim’s Team Awesome: Kim Davies (oi you/ The Whip), Hannah James-Johnson (JJ), Dominic Williams (Dom), Gareth Senior (Big G, or Graham), James Tomkins (Jimmy T/ Face-ache), Jeannine Bradley (Spud).
Tolly’s
Wallies: Tolly Robinson (Tolbot), Iain Fleet
(Piniain), James Pattison (JP/Dr Portage, pronounced porTARge), Fiona Hunt (are
you overtired?!/ Hero-boater), Adi Bell (BellEND), Gabby Timmins (Gobby).
Plus Team HeroIdiots: featuring Liam
Chambers (Chamedog), Stu Earnshaw (Earndog)
Also starring: Jack “JACKJACK”
Greenwood, Ade “Beermaster” Greenwood, Dan Greenwood (wannabe Liverpool kayaker)
So, we still managed to do some
paddling, style/survive some great rapids and have other adventures in
Scotland, even if it wasn’t a two-rivers-a-day week some of us were hoping for.
Dick
of the Day:
·
Sunday – Tim – for not turning
up to sheds to load up, although Adi turning onto the M6 south was also a very
worthy nomination.
·
Monday – Spud – for trying to
make Kim dick of the day but then falling over in the pile of bottles for
recycling.
·
Tuesday – Stu won on Tuesday,
for leaving us all on a long stretch of grade 1/2 and not paddling it himself,
and Jack W was nominated for forgetting his trousers and having to wear
Gareth’s monkey onesie all the way home.
·
Wednesday – Grog for throwing a
throwline up a cliff and telling Spud and others the wrong line down the hard
bit.
SUNDAY
A very early cold start for everyone,
most of whom had crashed at Paddle Manor. Adi started off badly by a) picking
the minibus that didn't go over 53mph and b) turned south onto the M6. Although
he was thoroughly slated for this, in the end going to the flooded southwest
instead of Scotland may have been a good idea as Scotland had had no rain for a
month of Sundays and unfortunately there was none forecast to coincide with
Epic Adventure Week Scotland Boating.
We drove a very long way north to the
Upper Tummel. We paused at the get out to inspect the grade 3 which resembled a
bony rockpile. Driving a little further up, the leaders inspected a nasty 4+
which was deemed unsuitable, especially in extremely low water levels and the
freezing temperatures. Having decided it was unrunnable as a group, we didn't
get to paddle on Sunday L and
drove to Home Sweet Home, Grey Corrie Lodge at Roy Bridge. Most adventurers
started their Scotland trip with the infamous LUCC Nap Time. However, JP, Dom
and I got our walking boots on and went exploring instead. We walked up the
river to have a look at Monessie Gorge on the Spean and agreed it was a
horrible siphon-y mess, a view confirmed by Stu and Liam the next day when they
scrambled down into the gorge.
Due to the very early start and lack of
snoozing I went to bed quite early and was not around to greet the Greenwoods
who arrived along with 2 barrels (144 pints) of beer courtesy (read: £1.40 a
pint) of Ade.
MONDAY - Arkaig
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| Where has all the water gone? |
Breakfast started with tales of
interesting noises from the bedrooms/beds/occupants. Luckily not my room,
although Iain had some worrying moments that JP was going to end up crashing
down on top of him. The original plan was to paddle the Arkaig as a warm up,
followed by the Spean Gorge in the afternoon, however the Spean Gorge was
likened to a walk carrying boats with the occasional bit of floating, so we
didn't do it.
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| Happy inspection fun |
A brief paddle across a cold windy loch
brought us to the top of the Arkaig. The river was flat and scenic up until a
dozen boats on the bank made Chris’s group (the last of three) think inspecting
was a good idea. Sure enough it was the grade 4 drop as promised – a slightly
awkward lead in due to low levels and pinning opportunities on which Gareth
dented his Burn’s nose, then a double drop. The majority of people in lower
volume boats got tailsquirted at the bottom of the first drop with varying
results – James T wins for going down the second drop upside down, to the detriment
of his handsome face. Two stitches below the eyebrow in Fort William A&E
sorted him out though, plus an impressively swollen black eye the following day
(and several days afterwards). Other tailsquirt victims resulted in swims or
recovery. Good effort to Tim and JJ for running it! Other lines included the
accidental eddy between the 2 drops, dubbed The Nomad Line after Kim and Tolly
achieved it first. Apparently it was not immune to Burns or Inazones either, as
myself, Graham and Jack all ended up in it halfway down.
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| When there is no kayaking to be had |
After
picking up the pieces and rescuing Manchester’s safety, we continued down the
river, still mostly flat, but with a couple of little drops. The last grade 3
was a scrape, but an extra hazard was provided in the form of Earnie, Liam and
Adi jumping off the bridge just afterwards.
We split up that afternoon, with me, JP,
Dom, Fiona, Gabby, Greg and Tim going on a hike up the hill near the Roy Gorge
get-on. A short steep climb to a snowy icy hilltop then a long drop down
through heather and along a stream (empty) – very pretty but chilly with the
wind! The others went bowling in Fort William whilst waiting for James T to get
doctored. Apparently Chris and Tolly were the bowling champions
[Congratulations to Ben for improving from 25 points in his first game to 118
in his third].
Lots of sausages were consumed (mash
optional).
James P fixed his rebroken boat.
TUESDAY - Tay
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| Tolly ripping up the knar |
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| It was a fun trip honestly |
James P fixed his rebroken boat again –
hairdryers, glue, scissors and all sorts.
WEDNESDAY - Meig
After a cracking cooked breakfast it was
a long drive northwards to… the Meig! A committing pool-drop grade 4 gorge
between huge granite slabs (so Iain the rocklicker tells us), what we came to
Scotland for! The river was not suitable for the whole group to paddle, so the
night before a few ideas were put forward;
·
Ade’s suggestion: ‘the people
who don't want to paddle it can stay in the bunkhouse with the porn magazines
all day’ (also known as the “Fred option”).
·
Stu’s alternative: ‘go to a
whisky distillery and get shit faced’.
·
Liam’s suggestion ‘go to the
chocolatier and get fat’ (the more expensive version).
In the end, everyone came to the river,
and the walkers (Tim, Hannah, Jack, Jackjack, Kim and Gabby) took photos of the
paddlers from high above the gorge. We ran it slowly in order to set up safety
on the more serious drops, which meant getting a bit chilly sitting in eddies,
and the occasional cave.
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| Safety faff on the meig |
The first rapid was the most
intimidating – a series of linked drops, the first of which had little
opportunity to cock up as it was barely a boat’s-width wide, followed by a hole
leading into a small cauldron, followed by a larger double drop which ran best on
the centre line but was quite forgiving however you fell off it, and finally a
narrow slide into a pool J. Many
other drops and slides followed, including one under a picturesque stone arch.
You got extra time to admire the arch due to the wealth of pinning
opportunities on the boulder pile just above, which would have been a lot
easier to just portage.
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| Having shoulders attached to your body is overrated |
Speaking of portages, there were three
on this short stretch of river. The first was a slot that was just too narrow,
so Adi had fun throwing us off the seal launch at various degrees of sideways
instead, whilst Ade decided that his potato (spud) could fit through the gap,
resulting in him demonstrating his awe-inspiring rolling abilities. The second
was An Epic – Gareth fell off it, several people dropped boats, Ade did most of
the running backwards and forwards, and only me, Adi and Tolly managed it
without swimming round the last corner. The third portage was around a boulder
choke above the last drop and not very exciting, just a pain in the arse.
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| Running drops upsidedown gets more style points |
Immediately after the second portage was
the hardest and second largest drop on the river – a double drop with a cauldron
in the middle, going round a corner. I don't think anyone ran it the same! We
had people upside down, backwards and sideways in the cauldron, and many rolls
at the bottom. Despite a good-ish line I got my left blade stuck and decided to
leave my paddles halfway up the drop behind a rock. It would have looked cool
if I hadn't ended up upside down in the hole at the bottom and hence exited my
boat, but hey, you can’t style everything. Liam claimed to T rescue me but
others said he just pushed me into the hole [definitely true] – it’s up for debate [no it isn’t], but I’d
like to believe Liam is always there to look out for me… [naïve fool].
Spud had a fairly horrendous experience
of which a portion of the blame [all of it] goes to Greg (for sending her down
the wrong line] and spent the whole thing upside underwater. Greg compounded
his mistake and subsequently won Dick of the Day for sending a throwline
backwards over his head when it was supposed to go to Jeannine. Graham failed
to realise there was a second drop and stopped paddling, resulting in a roll at
the bottom. Ben WINS for his downriver freestyle move out of the cauldron!
Rolling off the lip of the drop into a perfect boof evidently works well. The
rest of the drops were uneventful except an undercut which claimed a few rolls,
including Chris and Stu [twice], whereas Spudley decided to portage that
particular drop.
A highlight of the racking, as pointed
out by Ben and several others, was Adi’s arse being emphasised by fluorescent
green seams on his Sweet onesie. As usual, Stu and Chris’s bus won the racking
race. They remain unbeaten [as of the time of writing].
We accidentally went back via Inverness
due to Fiona being incapable of singing, DJing and navigating across the fold
of the map all at the same time. However we still found Morrison’s which meant
we didn't have to go to Fort William.
THURSDAY
– Garry, upper and lower
To the relief of every kayaker in
Scotland this week, the Garry was releasing and pretty much every university
canoe club turned up to contribute to the carnage. Described as “the Tryweryn
on steroids”, it was a challenging 3+ with drops and holes at a reasonable volume.
We had a couple of swims in Chris’s Dream Team from Tim, who was great on the
rapids but decided basic skills such as breaking out were beneath him. The
Lower Garry was flatter but had some great drops on.
Highlight of the day: JJ’s first
whitewater roll! Spud’s first river leading! Ben defying gravity and hydraulics
to paddle UP a rapid. I also heard that our beautiful Kaptain Kim took a roll
on the lower Garry. Gabby almost took Tolly into a hole with her and he had to
stop paddling to avoid fresher-flattening. Iain decided to spice up the flat
bits between rapids by swimming on a microscopic hole – his advice of the day:
“don’t swear underwater or you swallow a load!”. Ade rescued some paddles, went
to throw them to the side and hit himself in the head with them. Graham and I
found out that the river right chicken chute was actually harder than going
through the big hole. Lots of other unis probably owe us some rescue beers
[especially Manchester, as all three groups recused at least one bit of their
kit]. Gareth claimed to go backwards down the last rapid for the purposes of
filming JJ, but no one really believes that…
A significant nomination for Dick of the
Day goes to Liam for saying they were going to run safety for Kim’s Team
Awesome and then paddling off. In the end he won it. Credit to Greg for putting
his Dick of the Day t-shirt back on to rack the minibus after taking his BA
off.
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| Two children at play |
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| The club needs YOU! |
For dinner it was self-assembly
shepherd’s pie, cooked by varying degrees of drunk chefs Stu, Chris and Tolly.
Everyone was hammered by 7.30pm (nearer 7pm let’s be honest) on all the
swimbeers/ciders. Drunk Stu insisted on Bumper, reliving his Charity Shop
Roulette night of last Thursday (at least he hasn’t started his kissing rounds
yet), and got burnt six times whilst cooking. We made JELLY for dessert! J
Quote of the day number 2: Tim: “I can
teach you a handcuff knot if that would help?”
The night descended into more drunken
chaos. No more needs to be said.
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