The day started off with a nice trip down to sheds. I got my
first ride in Andy’s new car and I can confirm it is a car and it is blue. We
had great fun packing 3 boats and a full teams worth of kit into and onto the
car, I learned that the boat isn’t strapped securely to the roof until you’ve
heard 3 cracks. A slight bombshell was
dropped to me that my beloved polo boat was probably going to sink by halftime
due to the fuckoff hole in the bottom.
We
arrived at the docks bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and just a bit smug at having
slept til 9 whilst other teams had gotten up at 6am to be here. After a quick
recce, we sadly realised there was no bacon for us to buy and eat, so we
instead got to the time-honoured tradition of getting changed in a carpark.
Opting
for being warm over looking cool we also decided to be cag wankers. Thankfully,
so did everyone else.
Once on
the water we started off on our way onto the pitch, only to be called back by
Sam who needed help with his deck. It turns out Sam’s deck was a 3 man job, one
of those men including the referee. After a small delay, we were ready for the
off. Our first game was against the Salford Dragons, who told me that next time
they will be aptly named the Salford PoloBears. We had made a pact to not bin
each other, but I sadly forgot to mention that to Tolly and Andy…
Halfway
through the game I actually remembered how to play polo, and soon after that
remembered how exhausting it is. Luckily, our opposition weren’t forming much
of a defence, leaving such a huge space that even I managed to score a goal. Our
first game saw a goal from each member apart from the polo sec, who was
suitably ridiculed.
We
returned to Andy’s car triumphant, me especially as my boat hadn’t sunk, so I
wouldn’t have to spend the next 5 polo sessions trying to fit into a different
one. Andy was left to referee the carnage of the following game which included
a tremendous amount of paddle fouling (for those non-polo players, hitting
people hard in the face with your paddles). We revived ourselves with Haribo
and tea and were soon ready for our 2nd match.
This
time we were prepared for the terror that was Sam’s tiny deck, and with
guidance from Andy, John, Sam and I were able to get it on. Alice joined the
team for our 2nd game which was against Bangor, whom I have always
hated, especially that beardy number 11… With Alice on our side we seemed an
unstoppable force of nature until we let a goal in. And then Sam got binned and
nearly drowned because he couldn’t get his deck off. And then I got binned IN
TIMEOUT BY THAT BEARDY PRICK #11. I do not recommend drinking the Mersey. Down
to a 4 man team I think we stormed it as we somehow got 3 goals in whilst I was
having a nice paddle around Liverpool docks. Sadly, Sam never got back in the
game due to deckgate.
Our 3rd
match was against FOA E team. I was scared. I’ve heard FOA is good. I got to
the pitch. 2 members of FOA E were 13. Another was 60. Terrifying. At one point
I thought we were going to be murdered, or worse, lose. Luckily, I had team
mates who aren’t scared of preteen Scousers and we pulled through.
All
that remained was to get changed (I decided to move away from the family in the
car next to us) and take boats back to sheds.
Massive
LUCC pride, we won 3 out of 3 games, AND I didn’t cry when I got binned.
Result.
LUCC
love, Breeshey (Breesh-UH) xx
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