NSR!

By Breeshey (pronounced Breesh-uh) Bond

So. NSR. It came, we went, and we’re all (mostly) still alive. It began on Friday afternoon, where we were to meet at sheds at 4pm. Most of us made it on time (sorry), and at around 4:30 we were off!! To ASDA!! Here, we went on a spending spree of student necessities, which would ensure our survival for the weekend- Beer, pasties, sausage rolls, beer, Doritos, mixer, beer, sweets, biscuits and beer. Then we were actually off!!

The fleet would have made it swiftly to Nottingham if it weren’t for our (or mainly Josh Cs) ridiculously small bladder. Our first stop (after a lot of pleading from Josh) included a short maccies visit, and a disaster as a box of beer fell out the minibus and cans tried to make their escape. We made it a whole 18 minutes before we stopped again, this time in a layby. The stops, combined with rather drunken passengers were a drag on Sam J, our driver, who heroically drove instead of getting smashed (of course this was due to Sam’s insistence, and not Megs nagging). Therefore, he ignored the pleas of the weak-bladdered for another stop, as we were 10 minutes away.

A random kayaker who fully embraced the NSR spirit

We arrived at the campsite following an interesting 9-point turn due to some shoddy directions from a tipsy Meg. It was dark, but we did a remarkably good job of pitching the tents. After registration came the alcohol. Most of the group stayed by the LUCC tents, whilst a few others wandered round to other unis to socialise and meet some new people (I personally met a man known as Spoon, who kindly skipped me back to the LUCC corner). We then wended our way to the party tent to drink, dance, socialise and use portaloos that actually had toilet paper in them. We found Josh (previously named piss-bag) (who was later crowned dick of the day) walking around a fenced off area, which not even the bouncers could get into. Before this, one of the last sightings of Piss-bag was as he jumped onto the back of another unis van as it was driving off. This was just after he had jumped onto the Harry-Faye loveshack and bent the poles (twice). As he was now known to be alive, a slightly annoyed Harry said his job was done, and got back to partying. To this day, it is not known how Josh got out of the fenced off area.

LUCC'ers old, new and not from LUCC...

As the night continued, so the partying became wilder. There were packs of topless students, and many a mosh pit, most of them started by Sam J. Once the revelry had ended, at around 3am, we stumbled our way back to the very cold tents, and most of us ended up in our own ones, too.

             
 Saturday morning we were awoken by Meg demanding we get up and ready. Some of us obeyed, and were treated to breakfast a la Sam, which was scrambled eggs then baked beans with bread. Delicious. The beans were later dumped far too close to our campsite, and remain there to this day. Now we were up, dressed and ready to face the day. We waited 2 hours to face the day, as after Mogs departure, we were left rudderless, wandering aimlessly about, vaguely muttering about the cold and having to be up. Josh was remarkably chipper, considering the night before, but then again after passing out in his sleeping bag, he’d gotten an extra couple hours sleep on top of the rest of us. Meg returned! So we were soon suited and booted and down at the course to give it a bash.

We did remarkably badly at actually entering the competitions, and more than one of us watched a heat, only to find out were meant to have been a part of it. However, we did have fun with it, with Sam J earning paddler of the week, learning that he could roll his boat, and that swimming isn’t too bad in a dry suit, so going down the first drop in a number of amusing positions. Meg and Alex probably did well, as did Josh, showing off his ability to actually kayak. Sam K pulled a great run, only to be taken out by one of the vicious eddies before the last big drop.

Satisfied that I had not fallen in, I decided not to tempt fate, and returned to the campsite to nap with my fellow LUCCers. We were once again rudely awoken by Meg, telling us to go watch the Fresher Women competition. We didn’t. Meg said we should stop being lazy and go be social, to which Jess pointed out that it was Meg who was on her own, we were having a lovely social sleep. We slept some more and eventually awoke to resume our mindless wandering.

After a slight panic about losing the bibs (thankfully Mog saved the day, and all of us from paying extra to replace them), we went to dinner, which was seriously lacking in salt, and ended in a muffin food fight.

We filled some more time by companionably sitting in mansion Sam, watching Meg being assaulted and being blinded by Harry trying to fix a torch to the ceiling.

Then came the short film presentation, with some inspirational films, some funny and some painful to watch (these often involved upside-down kayakers falling off large drops). Then it was back to the campsite to get ready for the main party! Theme: Christmas. LUCC went as the Who’s from Whoville, and I’m sure the party went well. I earned dick of the day by missing this party and opting for sleep instead.I tried to get a report of the night, but sadly those memories have been lost forever due to alcohol poisoning. At least they had a good time, and only a couple of people had to be carried back to their tents.

Sunday morning we awoke to the morning chorus of an annoying guy on a megaphone and Meg, both telling us to get up. Most of us grudgingly did so, and were dressed fairly quickly. This time there was no breakfast a la Sam, as he was busy looking for Sharkie, the companionable, inflatable whale/shark.

Classic brace face from Sam J there!

Off we hopped/slowly trudged to the course for more water-based action. The main bulk of us watched from the side, fending off hangovers and the cold. The less smart of us decided to fend off our hangovers and the cold by flinging ourselves down the course. For me, Meg, Adam and Josh, we came out of it more awake, if a bit colder. Sam was not in a good place. After finishing a round in a duo with Meg, he threw up into a drain, and could be seen at various point throughout the day wobbling about with his boat a-shoulder and eyes unfocused. At least he had fun. Eventually the paddlers decided they were very cold (this point came about as it started hailing/snowing), so returned to the campsite to get changed and sleep, whilst the others stayed to watch the finals.

Not one of us, but pretty cool!

Once the competitions were over, it was a trudge back to the campsite with the boats, and time to break camp. It was at this point that we discovered dick of the day Sam K, who had slept til 4 in the afternoon.

With everything packed, and Andrew and Harry’s best Tetris skills used to pile gear into the minibus, all that was left for us to do was have an egg throwing competition with the left over eggs, push the mini bus out of the mud and leave an alarmingly large pile of rubbish (including Tabs’ duvet). Sam J had made a miraculous recovery from the morning, and was once again behind the wheel.

Much colder and muddier than we had been when we arrived, it was only fitting to stop off at a Maccies to feast on surprisingly warm chips and various meat products (apart from Harry, who had a sad-looking veggie burger thanks to going vegetarian for lent). As always, the post-kayaking Maccies was one of the best meals we’ve ever had, and we left rejuvenated (as well as leaving a trail of mud behind).

From then was a fairly short journey back to sheds, the group much more subdued than on the trip up. Safely home, we quickly put kit away, and people dispersed to have much needed showers. Sadly, the minibus was also in much need of a shower, having put up with very muddy drunkards for the weekend (including the odd random stranger sitting on the roof). Mops and sponges materialised, and we soon had her looking like we’d not be fined a lot of money for the clean-up job once we returned her.

The next day we met at Revs, cleaner and much more awake to have burgers, stories and a terribly long wait for the bill.

All in all, the trip was a success, and great fun. Lots of new friends were made, parties had and a bit of kayaking done. Thanks a lot to Sam for driving, putting up with drunken passengers, not getting us killed and avoiding those lorries. Also thank you to Mog for organising and making sure we actually did things instead of sleeping all day, we may have complained but we do appreciate it.

Here’s hoping next year will be just as messy.

LUCC love, Breeshey xx

Queen Breeshey, Our excellent NSR blogger

LUCC takes on BUCS slalom - Vive la Revolution!

By Sam Jones

Swim Confession by Harry "the shark whisperer" Green

Emily, our resident slalom-er

We assembled at sheds around 6:00 on Friday (it was meant to be 5:30 but you know, faff) ready to collect gear and depart for a weekend of slalom in Harry’s hometown of Stockton-on-Tees under Mog’s glorious leadership. John, Matt and Joel quickly claimed the three-seater van as the Liverpool mountaineering/kayaking vehicle and everyone else bundled into the minibus, plugged Casa Green into the satnav and set sail.

After a bit of traffic and a Tesco trip to acquire bacon, we arrived in Aycliffe village (~25 mins drive from the Tees barrage) at the village hall we were sharing with Manchester university canoe club. Fortunately, Manchester had already got the DJ booth in the village hall working, which was the prologue to hearty beer consumption. At the End of the Day (see: 4 in the morning) the group drifted to sleep; we all Dreamed a Dream that there would be no swims tomorrow.

Emily, Meg and Dani aka the super keen dream team!

At 7:00 on Saturday, Mog set her group leader credentials in stone by kicking everyone out of bed and serving up bread and bacon, then we faced a short drive to the Tees barrage where the weekend’s kayaking would take place.  The barrage is essentially a loop with a travelator at the end (think like the one off Gladiators but bigger) to take your boats back up to the start… assuming you didn’t swim, in which case there was a gruelling walk of shame across a few bridges. As we walked around the course, it became apparent that our mighty squad was split into two groups: Those who had done slalom before and were looking to get good times, and those who just wanted to get to the end of the course without swimming and experience the travelator.  The second group had a small conference and agreed that the best plan of action was to skip most of those pesky uphill gates.

Intense concentration from John

The structure of the event is that for each ‘class’ of boat (we only entered individuals in the K1 category, and not in the C1 category – which is with the one-bladed paddles), an individual gets 2 attempts at the run with the aim of getting through as many gates as possible. In addition to this, we entered both a men’s and a women’s team, where three boats go down together. Getting through a gate gives a ‘clear’ for that gate, hitting the gate with paddle or body as you go through gives a 2 second penalty, and skipping a gate completely gives a 50 second penalty. Swimming gives a DNF which means you get no score for that attempt. In the team runs a penalty is applied if the gap in time between individuals going through each gate is too large. 

On the Saturday the men’s K1 and the women’s team were up. The men noted a break in the queue and suited up to get on the river, at which point the heavens opened and sleet began to fall. Generally speaking there was a fair amount of swimming, but we also got a good amount of times submitted. 

Harry emerged singing a song of angry men after his attempt was (apparently) foiled by some orphans, a crocodile and a shark drifting into the course...  

My Swim Confession by Harry Green

My name is Harry and I am a swimmer. It all started on a stormy northern day at the tees barrage, I’m sure I heard someone talk about a tornado but anyway, I got in my boat ready to shred some killer waves and stuff and it all started pretty well. 

It all went south at gate 9.

To my astonishment there was a pride of orphans in the course! How they got there I don’t know! (I blame Meg). Anyway if that wasn’t bad enough as I got down that section of rapid most of the orphans managed to escape apart from one little fella, I think his name was Jeremy. Jeremy was struggling and why only became apparent as I bravely paddled to save him: 

THERE WAS A SHARK IN THE BARRAGE!

I try to pull Jeremy out the water. I was pulled under. Then I was back up. Wait what!?! I hear you say, “Harry can’t roll, even if he is the best kayaker/an amazing genius!” that’s because whilst I was under water A CROCODILE PUSHED ME UP TO ATTACK THE SHARK! I know I wouldn’t believe it if I were you... But you had to be there!

In the midst of the fight with the shark and the croc I managed to be capsized. I wasn’t going to let Jeremy down though! I valiantly pulled my deck, taking all the shame that came with it, I knew that boy’s life was in my hands.

Out of the boat now. One leg around the croc, one arm round the shark the other arm used only to push poor Jeremy away. I fought and fought until the shark, the croc and I… We shared a moment. A moment when we realised we are all one in this world and out fights are elsewhere.

So we went our different paths, the croc back to the Nile the long way round, the shark a really nice seafood restaurant (would recommend) and me to the side of the course to rescue myself and Jeremy as the safety team would have looked on if they had been there!

So there’s my story LUCC, that’s how I became a swimmer.

Ten minutes later I swam again. Bugger.

Unfortunately there was no photographic evidence of Harry and the shark/crocodile...

Later in the afternoon the women’s team of Emily, Dani and Mog took to the course and got down successfully. Throughout the day everyone took shifts at judging which involved sitting under an umbrella at 3-4 gates and noting down the scores of everyone who went through that section of the course.

We shot back to the village as quickly as possible in order to watch the Wales Scotland rugby game in the village pub before serving up a chilli con carne for dinner and settling in for a night of fun. The mountaineers whet our thirst with some mountaineering drinking games before a round of radio check descended into a rendition of Les Miserables (Harry knows the words to every song), and the booties owed from the day (John) were completed. With everyone a bit more tired after a day’s hard paddling we settled in for bed much earlier than Friday night.

Dani, echoing Johns concentration face

Sunday 14^th.  Valentine’s day. And what better way to spend it than getting wet on the Tees. With A Heart Full of Love we tidied up and packed our gear – the tributes today were our women paddlers and the men’s team of John, Matt and Joel.  Emily did her absolute best to bring our average score up with an impressive time in the women’s K1.  Dani hopped into Emily’s boat, presumably hoping it would provide good luck, but upon being scuppered at gate 16 cast aside her paddles and went for the hand roll… only to fail and have to swim. This was not lost on the event organisers who put on the score sheet ‘did ½ hand roll – 50% is a pass at uni’. Later, the men’s team bombed down the course without any swims.  

We elected not to stay and watch the results and set off for Liverpool  at around 3. We made good time and on the way were pleased to discover that we had placed in the top ten, beating Manchester who came in at 11^th.

Even as an inexperienced paddler, this was a really fun (and cheap!) weekend. The slalom course was a great way of practicing skills and gaining confidence in a safe environment. For those with more experience the competitive aspect was very present as with more than one attempt you can try to improve not just against other universities but also on your own time.  As even a high time counts towards the university’s points, the more the merrier; the slalom weekend is certainly in my calendar for next year. 

Scores from Slalom were as follows:

University of Liverpool - 10th overall!

Men's K1 - Matt Dennies - 51st, Joel Miller - 65th, John Bickerton 103rd, Sam Jones -109th, Ailson De Farias Silva Junior - 113th, Harry Green - 120th DNF

Women's K1 - Emily Ibbotson - 12th, Dani Brain - 22nd, Meg Over - 41st

Mixed Team: Emily, Meg and Dani - 10th

Open Team: Joel, Matt and John - 24th

The Most Successful Post-Exams Trip (or so I'm told...)

By Becky Catley
Photos by John Bickerton

I can honestly say that post-exams trip is the best trip I have been on to-date (although, having only been on two trips with the club in the past, you may wish to take that statement with a pinch of salt). To say that I was slightly nervous for this trip would’ve been the understatement of the century, so I went in to the weekend expecting the worst. How very wrong I was!

6.00am Saturday morning: Mog’s first alarm went off (Mog, we will never forgive you). 2 hours later (and roughly 10 more of Mog’s alarms) we reached the time we were supposed to actually get up. After a breakfast of questionable porridge (sorry Maeve) we packed up our kit and headed off to the Llugwy. After realising he’d not picked up a buoyancy aid from sheds (contributing to him winning “dick of the weekend”) Josh decided to walk the first run of the river. The rest of us got suited and booted and got on the river and, after a bit of a rocky start, I really started to enjoy myself!

Getting Suited and Booted

We took the river slowly, stopping to practice old skills and learning how to ferry glide, and we eventually made it to Forestry falls. Most of us made it down with almost no problems, but swimmers included Harry, Tilly and a very annoyed Jon, who was too busy “Bugger, bugger, bugger”- ing to notice that JJ was trying to rescue him! Afterwards, we all got off and had lunch and then some of the oldies had another run of the Llugwy with Josh and the rest of us went shopping! We finished the day with chilli and rice (and a hint of aubergine) and ended up down at the pub where we crashed the local’s karaoke night, and a beautiful group rendition of Robbie Williams’s Angels.

Spot the boat!

Sunday brought a better start with only one alarm and a much better porridge! We quickly packed up and then headed off to the Elwy for fun-filled day of paddling. This time, the full group had kit so we all got on the river together including Spud, who obviously knew that there is nothing better to do than go paddling with LUCC! A weir, a few portages and a brief but romantic encounter with a tree later, the two groups reconvened for lunch and told tales of the day so far, which included a swim from Tilly, Fiona rescuing Sam from a tree, and a river roll by Josh! We then headed on our way again, keeping a steady pace, occasionally stopping to see how many eddies we could catch with our new-found ferry lining skills. Unfortunately, we had to cut the river slightly short due to bad light but we’d made a really good run of it and had an amazing time doing so!

Captain and co.

Top Notch Safety from Hannah

All in all, it was a fabulous weekend and one that I won’t be forgetting in a hurry!

Christie Cup Victors & A New Committee!

So this is a little late in coming, but Liverpool Canoe Polo guys and gals retained the title once again as Kings in the North (Just call us Stark!) in the Christie Cup last month.

Unlucky Manchester and Leeds, it was a lovely afternoon down at Collingwood Dock, the sun actually came out for us! The free Aldi food was ace and everyone had a good time.Thank you FOA for letting us use the docks for another year. 

Liverpool won all their matches and helped Liverpool to second place overall behind Manchester. Liverpool hosted this year, so for once we actually went to the ceremony and after a bit of waiting, got some lovely medals for our efforts. The final overall result came right down to the last few minutes, and we lost to Manchester by 3 POINTS! The closest it's been for a few years I think. Damn Mancs! 

But we won, so the Canoe Club doing their bit for the Uni for another year (hint hint give us more money please). 

ALSO....

NEW COMMITTEE! 
Earlier this month our brand new committee for next year was elected. The final line up is on the Committee page on here, so take a look and we wish everyone the best of luck for 2015/16! 

Summer is Coming....

So, we're all suffering a bit from exams/dissertation/life. But Summer is almost here! The end is nigh, have courage! Here is a video because I'm in the library at 05:13, and it's grim, so cheer is needed!

Video Credit to Chris Kayley. :) 

Scotland Trip: An Unexpected Journey, Ailort and Upper Spean Day.

Another day report of our Scotland trip at Easter.

By Hannah James-Johnson/JJ

So, having paddled the Ailort last year in similar conditions, it was not a hotly anticipated river of the trip. HOWEVER, we had all forgotten how pleasant a paddle down it could actually be. 

After some layby issues and driving past each other going in opposite directions (and a stop at the Harry Potter bridge), we kitted up and got on the rather windy lake. Elliot went for a short scenic paddle round an island and Akim got a technical for conveniently 'forgetting' his wetsuit ( though he suspiciously found it once we got to the get-off SUSPICIOUS SOME MIGHT SAY).

The initial rapid was a bit bonier than we all remembered and caught Maeve out SWIMMERRR. (We're allowed to bully her now, she can roll on a river ). Everyone paddled it, Karina&the inazone bossed it after some initial nerves and everyone regrouped at the bottom for some ferrying practice. Waller tried to convince everyone backwards ferry gliding was a thing: I'm not convinced. 

If you forget the minor bursts of hale and the wind, it was a rather pleasant morning winding through the trees to the grassy get-out. 

Having not really had a plan for the day initially, the day took a turn for the EVEN BETTER when it was decided we'd run the Upper Spean. The Laggan Damn was on two pipes so it was a go, and after a bit of deliberating, I was convinced to do it. The dream team of me, Fiona, Wallerbingbang, Jordan, Jack, Elliot, Neil and Thwaites set off climbing down a rather snowy hill to a get-on where looking upstream was just not going to happen: spray from the dam and sleety snow was covering us as we put on. There were some nerves, but sticking in our pairs we worked our way downstream dodging holes, rocks, pour-overs (or in Neil's case punching through every hole possible with Jack paddling behind, mildly regretting his partner allocation as he hole dodged). Personally it was possibly the hardest river I'd every done in the sense that it was just so continuous. By the time we made our first eddy, I was, for the first time, very much in need of the rest it provided. It was a little terrifying having to be on the ball all the time, but focussing on where I was going and how I was getting there worked much better than trying to follow someone. 

I took a swim about 3/4s of the way down the initial harder section and despite 3 roll attempts I annoyingly took a swim (boo. I did have 3 attempts though Dom- so it's statistically relevant ha) 

After being told swimming on this river would probably mean kit loss, I was mentally planning my insurance claim as I walked down the bank only to find my boat and paddles bobbing happily in an eddy on the opposite bank :D. Thanks for the rescue everyone, promise I wont swim next time!

With the river easing off, we had a chilled paddle down to the gorge where we were caught up and lapped by the 'Athletes' Earndog and Chamedog who were lapping the entire section like excited puppies. We all got off, had a look at the gorge (I had already made the decision to walk round so just watched everyone) and everyone but me decided to do it. There was some debate over preferred lines, with some taking the Left, whilst others powered across to the middle after having watched the 9R style this line really smoothly. 

So, Jack decided to set off. I was standing at the mouth of the gorge and paying no attention to those getting on when I saw an orange and grey burn float past pretty submerged. My initial thoughts were naturally  'Jack's kicked his boat in, idiot haha' and then 'oh shit, Jack's kicked MY boat in, idiot'

Looking back upstream I witnessed the extracting of Mr.Ward from a clump of trees by Thwaites & Co, and his rather sheepish face as he explained that he hadn't been looking at the trees when he got caught up against them. His paddles had vanished and as an act of gentlemanly shame (hahaha sorry Jack) he carried my boat the few hundred metres down to the get out. 

All in all, a very good day! 

"Twas I that hauled Jack from the tree by the scruff of his BA into my accidentally awaiting crotch"
-Ben Thwaites, 2015.  

By JJ. 

Scotland: Mother F***ing Etive Day.

Just one of the many awesome days we had paddling in Scotland.
By Mog Over.

So the day we had been waiting for was here - it was motherf***ing Etive day- so we all trekked up through the very misty Scottish mountains eagerly to a slightly foreboding Triple Step (three big drops) - the start of the Etive!

As a few of us looked at the drops searching for the best lines to take, others just waited around planning on simply staying in the upright position! The majority of us had our go - some with far drier heads then others!! After a few hours of attempting, rescuing and the general entertaining chaos that comes with Triple Step - we all carried on downstream most of us pretty happy with how we had managed it!! We carried on slowly with a few getting off along the way. Paddling Ski Jump, Crack of Doom, Letterbox and Crack of Dawn - all with varying success, interesting lines and a few sneaky swims which kept everyone busy rescuing and portaging. (I hate feeding their ego but only a few had a #noportages day)


Then of course came the final drop: Right Angle ( a 6m waterfall - less scary than it sounds, promise ) Here again we spent a while facing up to the challenge and then keeping a brave face as we trusted Stu to send us off down the drop!

Fair to say we were all a far smilier group at the bottom - even if one of us did manage to leave their boat behind the waterfall for half an hour (wasn't me)! At the end it was safe to say we were all a lot more relaxed bimbling down the last part of the river. Knackered, hungry and a bit chilly, we battled on to the get-out (and our sandwiches woo) We had conquered the Etive - on my part mostly upside down ( best way to do it!! ). After 7 hours filled with adrenaline, entertaining lines and a lot of throwlining I think it's fair to say the Etive had lived up to being a motherfucking good day!


Love Mog xxxx