A day on the Conwy

Great day on the Conwy only one swim one booty and a lot of rain. Was a good beginning of the year trip where some new paddlers were put through their paces. Only one thing really learnt, kayaks don’t balance well on barbed wire!

Tolly keeping people entertained whilst waiting for the shuttle

A quick bit of trib bashing for the more adventurous in the group

Adi learning that swimming in eddy above biggest rapid on river can have consequences after all

Trip report: Etherow

Earnie's video

 Last weekend it rained. A lot. If you broke away from watching kayaking videos at home, you'd have noticed that the road outside probably looked at least grade 2. So Earnie and Liam decided to go boating. As I was so keen to go boating too, i offered to tag along too and take photos, but the river was always going to be too hard for me. The river of choice was either the Etherow, or Heyden Brook, and maybe to squeeze in something a bit easier later on, but we didn't find time for that as you'll find out!

We headed over to the other side of Manchester to the Etherow and walked up to check it out. It looked GOOD! It was up on just below a six at the bottom weir, and raining a lot, (which continued literally all day!), but that was plenty enough water for this spate river to be officially classed as 'scha-weeeeet'.

Heading up to the top, we got a few looks at it, and then kitted up. I set off running down to get ahead and about a kilometre or so later bear grylls-ing it over rough, thick, wet, steep, crappy, wet, rocky, wet and wet ground, I was effing scorching in my drysuit, and still not at the top of the main gorge yet. Eventually the troublesome two came sauntering down and got out a bit further on and we traversed the gorge. Holy crap this river was good.

I set up to get some photos of the first drop, then we scouted the second. Liam and Stu both whizzed down effortlessly despite it looking sketchy as hell on first inspection, while I filmed, as they disappeared round the corner.

I hopped up, and set off bounding down the banks and spotted Liam in a tiny eddy backwards arguing with a scrapey rock, then carried on further to see earnies boat upside down, bridged across the river. Earnie had already calmly popped out and self rescued (see the gopro footage!), but was nowhere to be seen. Naturally I presumed he was dead when his boat finally washed down and he wasn't there or anywhere in sight, then had to scale a few rock faces before I got to where Liam had chased after him to see where the hell he'd gone. Sure enough he was alright even though it turned out he'd broken his thumb on another drop higher up the gorge section, but we were helpless to watch his boat disappear downstream while we struggled to scramble over the terrain. Earnie carried on to investigate while Liam rescued the paddles, and I climbed up to the road with all my gear to see ahead.

This river had so little in the way of eddies, so Earnie eventually stopped around the bend to spot an eddy for Liam to grab and get back out and search. While standing there looking at the eddy, he noticed a very faint flash of orange under the surface, which turned out to be his boat, completely submerged by a large rock at one end and a slab at the other, actually forming the eddy and a pushy drop!

At this point I realised in the panic my camera had got soaked, and when I Tried to take a photo, the screen went blugh and it died. For good. Its lived in a bag of rice for the last week, but hasn't recovered. I filmed from high above on earnies camera while they freed the boat, which was completely invisible underwater, struggling with fence posts not actually in the ground and the incredibly strong torrent. From where I was, the boat looked fine, but unfortunately, as you can see, it had a big ol' dent in the middle, and a very inverted nose!

I decided to head down the road to the get out to catch the boys paddle the last section, receiving many odd looks from drivers, clearly confused by my walking down the road in the middle of nowhere in drysuit, BA and helmet, carrying a peli case for one camera, a tripod, another camera with a hefty lens....and a badly bent brolly (for the camera!). I stood at the bottom and waited for Liam and Earnie to show. And waited with camera and brolly in hand. And waited. And waited. ...I knew as soon as I turned to leave, they'd surely appear and I wouldn't get the shot! An hour and a half later, the midges were biting. I was COLD. And miserable. And more rained on. And more cold. Finally, Earnies car appeared behind me, with an Earnie in it who'd presumed I was dead somewhere by now. Turns out they'd scouted the last section (which looked apparently awesome), but with broken thumb and boat, they'd decided not to run it and climbed out of the steep gorge to get the shuttle.

Anyway, with two confirmed alive, one boat confirmed in-need-of-a-nose-job, one camera gone to camera heaven, but great spirits after a fantastic bit of adventure boating, we headed home with not very many more hours left in the day! Despite my camera being deaded, I had a great time, and I didn't even get in a boat, so I can only imagine how good a day the others had! I look forward to being able to paddle the brilliant Etherow hopefully soon enough!

Adi

The Alps Part Two

Saturday 23rd, Travel Day!

Waking early to Week Two at dawn, the seven seater and The Olds left to my tired goodbyes. Spirits immediately picked up however, when Squirrel, Liam, Haywood, Fred, Kim, Earnshaw, Dave and I celebrated having no life commitments and having another week in Europe. YES!

We packed and set off for Austria/Germany/Italy/The Dart. Levels being right off everywhere in Europe, except Devon, meant we weren't quite sure where we were headed, but we headed anyway while Liam and Fred made Haywood's radio more French Friendly, changing all 15 stations to 'NRG France', the only station with decent English music.

Our car arrived full (despite the many threats in Fred and Liams direction) in Landeck, Austria, after a few stops in Italy and Switzerland, to a much smaller campsite, and waited around for the faff-van who it turned out had stopped at IKEA for meatballs- really getting knee deep into the European culture.

YAY AUSTRIA!

Sunday 24th,  Sanna, Inn Shoot, Landeck Gorge, Imst Gorge, Phew!

Camping Riffler is perfectly located on an island of sorts, where the Sanna and Inn rivers join right outside the campsite gates. We made up for the previous day's lack of paddling by completeing four river- the only faffless day I've witnessed in two years of being part of LUCC! 

The Sanna was up first. Acting photo-bunny on the bank by Pianz section, it was easy to doubt it's difficulty, until people and kayaks disappeared behind waves, re-emerging moments later just to plummet back into the next. Much bigger volume in comparison to France's technical rivers. Although much of the river continued in the same way, there were no issues and everyone continued down.

Fred, Earnshaw and Kim run Pianz

Getting off outside the camp gates, everyone piled into cars for the next two rivers. Squirrel and Robin, who had joined us at the campsite the night previous, bombed down the Inn Shoot, a Grade V, and everyone else joined them at the bottom. Later, Robin admitted he was disappointed that Squirrel had paddled so well. Truthfully, we all were, seeing that the swim chart was looking a bit meagre at the time.

The others got on for the Landeck Gorge while I waited where the gorge narrowed, producing some meaty waves. I'd been shown the spot by a jolly, Austrian lady and a man with no tongue, so eagerly began prepping my camera for the arrival of the club. I was in no rush, having been promised at least an hour before the arrived at the gorge, so it was a shock to hear a THOMMP and turn around to see everyone paddling past, without a lens on my camera.

Fortunately, there were no swims so wasn't worth the footage anyway :)

A photo of Kim and Dave instead to make up for the lack of Landeck footage

On the Landeck, Liam admitted not wanted to follow Robin's line as he "wasn't sure what his intentions were". Apparently, when you're as good a paddler as Robin, you make lines into the biggest holes, because you can. Problematic, as Liam could not.

Liam receives an escort incase he wusses out further

Despite being told not to expect much paddling that week, I was invited on the Imst Gorge- a long, wide section with a few wave trains. Nothing to worry about, they said. It didn't look too bad until you had fallen into the trough of a wave and anyone ahead or behind were hidden by walls of water. Liam, eager to show off, kick flipped off the first wave. Forgetting he wasn't a playboater for a moment, he instantly binned himself and couldn't roll up until the wave train had finished. Squirrel meanwhile, cartwheeled his way through the waves, taunting us mortals. Further downstream, I caught my first glimpse of the must-avoid stopped in Austria- absolutely massive holes. And this was from the other side of the river, about as far away from them as I could paddle. Huge. Despite the week long goading, no one played the massive-hole game that day.

The Memminger Stopper just wants to play :'(

Monday 25th, Rosanna and Trisanna

At the Rosanna the next day, Fred and Dave decided to set off walking to scout the Upper instead while the rest of us were forced to get on the river one kayak at a time without sign of an eddy in sight. It turns out the two of them didn't even get to the bottom of the Upper... Something about being lazy sods :) Continuous rapids the whole river left not much opportunity to avoid holes or grab eddies- not that Stu "What's an Eddy" Haywood would have stopped in them anyway! I rediscovered the curse of staying upright on flat water and rolled when trying to break out of the eddy I'd followed Squirrel into. Everyone eased down the rest of it, but at the weir Kim and Earnie got off, leaving Squirrel, Haywood, Liam and I to complete the remaining flatter section. Getting off below a motorway overpass, we ate lunch (Alps lunches are the best on the world, by the way), before being picked up and taken to the Trisanna.

A fair bit of faff passed while people mmm'ed and ahhh'ed about getting on the Trisanna, but eventually Liam, Haywood and Squirrel got on. Earnshaw, Kim and Dave got into the van, and shuttled down to the first named rapid, the Sawmill Cataract. After I detached myself from the boats that I definitely had not been hiding between in the back, we pondered over it for a while before moving onto the last rapid when we decided the Cataract would prove no difficulty. We tried to find the line while the water was high. After a few River Right - to Left- to Right must make moves, it was decided it was worth portaging so we ran upstream to find an eddy for everyone to come into. As it was Europe after all, there were none, so we planted ourselves by a rocky bank to grab boats any means necessary.

Eventually we hit the cut-off time for legal paddling without sign of the three, and became worried. Dave was sent off while we played rock-bouls, who eventually returned with everyone. Unsure of where the final rapid was, and wisely knowing they wouldn't be able to eddy out, they had gotten out early. A final scout of the rapid put no ease in our minds, so we hastily retreated before temptation overcame someone.

What could possible be the essence of the relationships within LUCC came to light when the river was discussed later. The rule of thumb that you should paddle with friends you know and trust was put to the test. And resulted in Liam, stuck in a hole, being used as a boofing platform and left to get himself out. This must be true friendship!

View from a watery hole

Tuesday 26th, Schuls Gorge, S-Chanf Gorge

The drive to Switzerland the next day became a topic of conversation before we’d even made it out of Landeck when the van was pulled over by the police. Ten minutes and one fine later the journey continued at a slower speed, and LUCC sloped across the border to Switzerland with tails between our legs. As if luck was on our side, everybody managed to cross the border without being tasered. Well done everyone.

At the get on, Schuls Gorge gave up none of it's secrets, as it curved around a sharp U-bend, with nothing but white rapids in sight. Big waves continued the majority of the river, but caused no issue. Although Fred also got on the river, only Liam and Haywood made it to the picturesque get-out, at the bottom of a cliff with a church overlooked by the Swiss mountains. A better idea of what the rivers were like will come in the Alps video that will eventually get made……. Come on, guys!

Haywood on Schuls

S-Chanf's get on involved a llama, crossing a motorway and grass kayaking. Definitely one of the most beautiful spots I’ve kayaked in. Huge boulders create paths through the otherwise slower parts of the river, forcing you to weave a trail between them. Despite a duller day, the water gleamed turquoise, and everyone’s spirits were in good form after spotting the world’s single tolerant fisherman. Liam and Fred took the time to explore the natural caves, but seeing as I nearly binned myself off one of the boulders I thought it was a good idea not to join them. The river stayed at a relaxed grade other than one nasty portage, and the get out arrived too soon, a short hundred metres upstream from where the IV+ gorge starts. Just to wind everyone up, I binned myself just above the get out, almost rolling up past it, beyond the reach of the eddy. In response, Squirrel and Haywood tossed me into the water fountain. And then also in the one further up the hill.

Fred and Haywood find a quicker means to the get on

Wednesday 27th, Area 47

Honestly, like many of the evening activities (there was definitely a gay bar somewhere during the week..), I cannot remember what was done that morning. Evidently it was a slow day however as by the afternoon any paddling plans were packed in, in favor of taking time off to visit Area 47, the local water park. I decided to have some much needed tanning time at the campsite having expected nothing special, which quickly escalated into being the worst decision of the trip.

 

Area 47  follows the very lax health and safety rules that Austria apparently doesn’t enforce anyway. Some of the park’s slides are so inappropriate that females are banned from them. We still don’t know why. Slacklines, parachute jumps, free falls…. Unfortunately however, Squirrel somehow managed to cut his foot open on one of the slides. Although he can ease his way down a Grade V, a family water park proved too much for him. A quick trip to hospital resulted in Squirrel being returned in one piece, albeit very bandaged up. And a flooded village but that’s another matter.    

At some point that evening Squirrel, Haywood, Fred and Liam all disappeared in search of gas and never came back. We expected the worst, and went to bed. Although they swear they mentioned it, none of the rest of us remembers being told they were going to the pub, so when they finally arrived back to camp, the state of them was a surprise. Liam and Fred, having plenty of hormones built up after a week and a half of camping with each other, came back with the announcement they’d pulled. Haywood stumbled in behind and Squirrel went to bed quick enough, knowing something that we didn’t. Sure enough, after a while their names were called from the next door’s garden and as only three drunk English can do it, they proceeded to run headfirst through the bush to the next door’s garden. Eventually everyone made it back through the hedge to their corresponding beds. Unsurprisingly alone.

Thursday 28th, Pfunds Section, Giarsun Gorge

A slow morning left plenty of time to examine the last night’s damage through the rather large hole in the hedge. The only way to have possibly made matters worse would have involved signing the carnage, and leaving a thank you note. The vegetable patch now resembled a construction site, and the garden shed’s door was folded in half where, fearing they had been locked in, it had been kicked in only to find it was unlocked the whole time. When the parents came out to find the source of the noise, they hid. Fred and Liam ran; Haywood lay down in the middle of the driveway. No morning beers were had before we were off to the river; the full beer box having been used to ensure sleeping bags weren’t vomited over in the middle of the night. A truly remarkable display of why you should never stop drinking for a year.

Luckily, the absurdity of the whole situation meant the two girls next door could blame the whole thing on a rampant ‘large cat’, despite the hole in the hedge leading straight into our campsite, where we all were camped, peering back at the garden in wonder.

A large cat, meow

The second last day of the trip, every man and his hangover piled on to the Pfunds section for an easy warm up. The sun was beating down, not doing much for the headaches from last night. By the time the get off arrived, the hungover ones were lagging behind and Dave, Kim and Earnie were already waiting on the bank to rejoin for the Giarsun Gorge.

Nobody with a hangover in sight

Groups were split up, Haywood, Liam, Fred and I in one, and Earnshaw, Kim and Squirrel in the other. Our group led on first, doing the easier grade III section leading to the last chance to get off. A failed roll had Fred making his way for it, with the thought of losing a set of paddles last year on his mind.

 

It was at this point that rolling seemed like a good way to get down a river. Rolling through holes, rolling over rocks, bracing with my face, and rolling into eddies. By the time the first eddy came up, I was considering scaling cliffs to get out, but due to shear cliffs on each side I was forced to carry on. Haywood and Liam made perfect lines all the way down the left, while I failed ferry glides and skimmed around rocks running river right where there was no river, pretty much portaging everything without actually getting out of my boat. 

So it wasn't with much surprise that I discovered myself in the river.

Upon regrouping with Haywood and Liam, and sending them in search of kit, I began a mega-walk out, in one of the most scenic areas I’ve ever had the pleasure to walk out off in a drysuit in blistering heat. Following the sound of cow bells, I eventually found a road and a quick hitch to the get off, I watched the paddlers following my boat down from the top of a cliff- a seemingly decent rescue until Liam and Earnshaw got stuck in the river-wide hole. Liam because he did, and Excuses-Earnshaw, because he “missed his boof”.

Two Americans that LUCC had fooled into helping them continued on down the river, while the rest of us were called to the scene of the pinned boat, completely submerged having fulfilled it’s dream of riding out a grade VI. LUCC ran to the rescue in our flip-flops and BAs. Once recovered, it was completely flat. The paddles are currently fueling Switzerland in the hydro-plant turbines, I think. Along with the GT and my paddles, Fred broke his second set of the trip, broken from when he accidently fell on them, walking out of the river… Not sure what to say about that one. Good thing we all have insurance though! :)

Dagger 2013 squirt boat prototype

Can't get enough of being a hero, after he unpins the GT

Despite the carnage, it seemed like a really fun river, and I look forward to swimming it again next year!

Friday 29th, Sanna and Landeck again

The final day of paddling was back to the old favourites. Liam’s boat was by now making a fair attempt of an impression of a sponge so he was using a borrowed Nomad, and Haywood had switched down from his Jefe to his Molan. This time, all the rest of us made it to the Pianz section to watch the carnage, but despite rivers having risen, Haywood, Liam and Squirrel still styled past without putting on a show.

Landeck Gorge was equally as high. Where I had previously set up a tripod, was now knee-deep with grey water. After a very rapid drive up the cycle lane to avoid being caught like we had been the last time, I made it to the photo site, ready to take photos this time…. Except the lens failed. Thoroughly defeated, I waited for Haywood to collect me. But for some reason he turned up waving from his bike, so I waited a while longer.

Landeck Gorge

For the last evening, dinner was eaten out. More meat than Schwarzenegger was placed on the table, and the fortnight’s paddling was discussed, while Haywood occupied himself on the children’s swings. In fine spirits, everyone returned to the campsite, where Kim, Earnshaw and Dave decided they would leave that night, and packed up, arriving at the ferry at the same time as us despite our car leaving in the morning. That must have been a hella load of IKEA meatballs.

The drive home was a quiet one, mostly I assume because I fell asleep and even Fred and Liam would find it difficult to hassle someone who doesn’t respond. Soon enough we were touring Ashby, and then Fred was slamming the breaks on outside our house in Liverpool, thoroughly bringing our holiday to an abrupt end.

The final swim chart!

1st Spud, despite only one swim, how?!

2nd Dave, who before Alps, had completed a total of zero rivers.

3rd Gareth, who only found his roll in Alps 2012.

 T