What with finishing exams etc, I've been very busy enjoying
myself, but finally, here's my trip report:
We went to Anglesey and it was my birthday and it was sunny
and it was fun and Ruth has a cool house and we played sardines and we came
home.
Okay, if you want a longer version, read on!... I tend to
write way too much, so if it's too long, just don't read it, and don't bother
moaning at me; I'm just going to write everything I remember cos I feel like
it!
It seems all blog posts must start by describing the group
as a brave gathering setting out early in the morning on a perilous and
challenging journey. This trip was far too relaxed for any of that!
The early start involved meeting at 5 in the afternoon.
(though me and Gareth went to pick up the bus at lunchtime, with questionable
soberness from the previous night!). While I was busy pretending to be a pro
wedding photographer (on my birthday), the brave, heroic, awesome, and rather
good looking group rocked up at sheds and loaded up in the glorious post-exam
sun. I turned up ready to go at half 5 in smart trousers, shirt and tie, as
it's well known that's all you need for a kayakers weekend, and was presented
with gifts in the form of some very tasty looking rum, and a splendid cake (it
was my birthday) which was eaten there and then, and definitely not lugged
around anglesey all weekend everywhere we went with promises of eating it many
many many many many times… Thanks Tim and Ruth! :)
We drove on down to Anglesey, with some splendid parking at
ASDA on the way down where instead of trip porn, a very alternative lads mag
was purchased seeing as ASDA doesn't tend to stock the more exotic stuff. There
was a serious lack of stories, but an abundance of tattoos and piercings, so
I'm pretty sure Tom Leigh's into some kinky stuff behind closed doors ladies.
Arriving in Anglesey, we turned off the road onto a dirt
track which was slightly bumpy to say the least and went on for about half a
mile, but when we arrived at Ruth's house, we were not disappointed, and Ant
showed up just five minutes after we did despite setting off from work a lot
later (something to do with a BMW being able to go faster than 62mph, I'd
guess). Following Ant's precision timing, (and after hell had finished freezing
over, and the pigs had been cleared for take-off once the blue moon set on the
31st Sunday of May), we set up tents in Ruths [modest] back garden and went to
explore the house. Then, Ruth opened the garden shed of wonders. Climbing
inside (still in shirt and tie), I was like a kid at Christmas (….or maybe
birthday…did I mention it was my birthday?), finding scooters, beach toys,
shit-on-tops, archery targets, A GODDAM RIDE-ON-LAWNMOWER AND A
MINI-MOTORCYCLE!!! and various other cool stuff. I was promised that I could
mow the lawn, but it never came to be due to Gareths grass allergy and Ruth
(probably rightly) guessing I'd end up running someone (me) over with it, and
the mini motorbike was unfortunately broken :( but still, Ruth's got such a
cool house!
We set up chairs and had a few drinks, playing various
drinking games where only a few people actually knew the rules, with hilarity
as confused kayakers racked their not too many brain cells to try and work them
out. We went for a walk to look at the stars which immediately hid behind some
stooped clouds, followed by an epic game of sardines, which was great fun, with
lots of great hiding spots. Unluckily, Ruth had a trip over and hurt her ankle,
so with one last round, we retired to the tents...at 1am!!
We woke up nice and early the following morning (not), and
headed 40 minutes down the coast to the beach where we had a game of french
cricket followed by a game of rounders, then remembered we're kayakers, and
should not be allowed to play normal sports. But by this time, high tide wasn't
long away, so we headed to Stanley Embankment, which is precisely 40 minutes away
from the beach, and Ruths house and apparently everything else at ANY location
across Anglesey.
After a while deciding where to park, we kitted up and
paddled across the lake and had a briefing, then headed under the bridge
without anyone falling victim to the boily water…pretty much the only time that
day! We got there as the wave was just about starting to grow to something surf
able, which made it nice and not-intimidating for the newbies, and soon enough
everyone had had a successful surf on the wave. Ruth had decided to opt for the
shit-on-top as her swollen ankle was too painful to get in a boat, but quickly
her and Ailsa discovered that they quite liked swimming, so repeatedly hopped
the shit-on-top on the wave, and back off but a lot more upside-down. Tim
discovered that it was written in the stars that he'd be a natural pro play
boater, Schnieds conquered her nemesis, Stanley; me, Ben, Gareth, Graham, Ant
and Fiona had some fun trying various moves, with pretty much the only
manageable ones being those of old-school nature, and Tom and Ellie had a good
crack at their first time wave surfing. However, Ellie decided that being on
the outside of a boat might be more fun, and after a failed attempt at getting
on the wave sitting on the front of my boat, and a failed attempt holding the
back of my boat, she and Tom decided to hop off and watch for a bit.
We eventually descended into chaotically ploughing onto the
wave at the same time with Kings and Queens of the wave aplenty, although Fiona
was employing the dirty tactics, jabbing her paddles into others' faces! Me and
Tim somehow ended up with our paddles crossed at one point, I rolled up
quickly, but still entangled, I may have accidentally held him upside down for
quite some time…he didn't drown though so it's fiiiine!
The wave eventually died down to being unsurfable, but we
were all knackered by now, so headed back for food across the very very
surprisingly warm lake (very odd how warm!) We parked at ASDA (40 minutes
away), across just a few spaces obviously, got some food and drove the 40
minutes back for showers, some….interesting…joke telling and more drinks which
never reeeeally happened because everyone was so tired, and konked out to sleep
instead!
Well, most went to sleep. A certain pair decided not to get
all that much sleep, choosing instead to make some rather audible friendly
time, which wasn't exactly subtle. Those dirty tactics again, ey! Fair play
though, high fives.
The following day, we drove the 40 minutes to the same
beach and decided to better the previous years hole-digging in the sand, with
four great big holes joined by tunnels big enough for a person to squeeze
through. Typically on my turn to crawl through one of the tunnels, there was a
slight roof collapse and so I stayed in the tunnel, digging the collapse from
around me and making the tunnel bigger. One of the secondary tunnels (yeah,
damn right we had a whole tunnel system!) collapsed however, so we ended up
destroying the rest and then buried Tom pretty much up to his head before
heading down to the sea to wash off all the sand, leaving Tom where he was!
We chilled out for a bit longer then drove back to
Liverpool which too took 40 minutes obviously, then, having not yet grown sick
of one another's company (could this possibly have something to do with the
absence of 5 Italian adventurers? hmmm…), we headed to Gareths to watch How to
Train Your Dragon, and Bolt…both of which are great films, surprisingly enough
to a grumpy old man like me!!!
All in all, a fantastic [birthday]
weekend (you know it was my birthday, right?)…could't have asked for better
weather (just ask Ben ‘Lobster-Legs’ Waller), or better company, thanks guys
for a great not-all-that-kayaky-kayaking-weekend!!
Adi Bellend
Disclaimer: Not all journeys took 40
minutes
