LUCC Take Teifi 2012: The Story According To Hannah

Bulge #1

Jack spelt T O M getting fondled 

Best dressed BY FAR

The tent where Jack's laugh, means bad things for Dom's mat. 

Birthday Tent!!  

Happy birthdaaaay

The near death experience that is a bundle

Not even the river could get it off...

 As the last of the LUCC’ers left the sheds, it was with kayaks on our roofs and onesies in our bags and smiles on our faces (until I put my iPod on in the bus) that we started our journey to TEIFI ’12. The late bus- largely made up of people who hadn’t done their work in the week and were trying to make Friday deadlines- was on a strict ‘no alcohol in the new bus’ policy, but we all love a challenge...

We did make it to Newtown Tescos in one piece though, and despite me not buying the exotic entertainment requested from the top shelf, we sang our way to Teifi with Iain’s directions actually getting us all the way there!! Fresher Chris deserves special mention for doing what I could not and reaching the top shelf of the magazines, despite having to hold his trousers up at the same time (calm down Chris, it’s only Zoo!).

So after much complaining about the music, the second bus arrived at Teifi. Onesies were naturally everyone’s priority and as we began to drink our way into the night, it was as an odd collection of bats, bears, foxes, dinosaurs and rabbits that we made our way to the party marquee.

The DJ was a charming fellow (I think he’ll always hold a special place in his heart for us) and despite the somewhat questionable remixes, we managed to keep on drinking and dancing into the early hours. Ruth decided we all needed a few lessons in pole dancing at some point in the night and proceeded to shimmy her way up the big pole before being pulled down by someone obviously not enjoying the lesson. The party continued even after the music was turned off back at Camp LUCC with post-drinks in various tents and I’m afraid it’s here that my memories of the night end. (please, hold the jokes)

Bulge No#2  & freakiest human baton ever

Saturday morning dawned and the banter began to fly, and as many tried to remember how they came to be where they were waking up, we started to eat through our Tesco bought breakfasts whilst staring at Stu’s sausages...

It took us a while, but we eventually got on the buses to take us upriver of the campsite where we began the actual kayaking part of the weekend (who knew we actually had to paddle?). The water was very calm and a good place to start for the freshie freshers who hadn’t paddled down the rocks, I mean river, on Freshers Trip.

The highlight of the day’s paddling came with the cauldron! Fewer swims than expected, AND it was great fun. However, sitting just upstream to the cauldron waiting for our turn, we did spy a little red river runner upside down and a rope being expertly thrown by Master Earnshaw from the rocks. Dom had gone just a few moments ago, but surely this swimmer could not be Dom, our river leader? No no, we thought, surely not. But as I made my safely down the cauldron, I spied a soggy looking Dom climbing up the rocks, so yes, Dominic Williams forgot his own welfare and took a little dip in the River Teifi :) stay tuned for more of his underwater adventures...

Obviously winning the photo competition!

Best outfit!!

So Saturday night rolled on not before we had sung a very happy 21^st birthday to Schneiders and opened our flaps and munched our fill of pie, mash, mushy peas and gravy (which was to make another appearance later in the night). After which we went back to Camp LUCC and drank/warmed up/napped/spooned. Costumes were put on (and made in my case to avoid toga-wearing in the freezing cold) and Greg’s and Sam’s bulges admired equally. Best costume I think goes to Fiona for her amazing gold medal (that’s architects for you!) and congrats to Sam for scaring Schneids so much she asked Iain to stand in between them!

The lanes – Liam, Chris, Iain, Matt, Schneiders, Me, James- spent a lot of time lying on the dance floor for pictures, which Liam helpfully pointed out had been where he had peed the night before, and Boris had a cheeky snog with a random (naughty) as we drank through happy hour and beyond. At some point in the night, Spud needed blacking up, and for some reason- I blame the Jacks-Adi, Graham, both Jacks and I ended up looking a little browner than at the start of the night along with Spud the lightning Bolt.

SO the night went on, a conga line (or congo line as Kim likes to call them)  led by Kim and Liam took the entire dance tent into the bar tent, leaving a confused Stu/Boris alone on the dance floor holding a pint, and other antics of the night included Iain’s not-so-tactical chunder in the field behind the tent, Adi attempting to teabag the burning fire poles, the DJ receiving some lovingly written insults on Greg’s torch skirt largely focussed on vaginas (I do apologise for giving it to him). Making up for my rather naughty mishap with the DJ, I preceded to graffiti every bit of bare skin I could find of other uni’s with LUCC. Suck on that Aber!!

Sam’s Olympic challenges entertained us all as he ate his way through a cold pie, and drank a shot of congealed gravy, YUM. The face of defeat as he sat down on the chair, mouth stuffed full with pie shaking his head was unfortunately not captured on camera! Neither was the groan that erupted from us when Greg, when asked what uni he was from, proceeded to shout “LIVERPOOL JOHN MOORES UNIVERSITY” into the microphone. No Greg, we’re LUCC.

Anyway, the night was a success, and despite my near death experience (no joke) at the bottom of a 30-person bundle, it was enjoyed by all.

Sunday’s paddling started much earlier as our Welfare Officer coaxed our Captains out of bed who in turn turfed us all out our tents. Tents were packed up, bags packed and put into vans and we got on the river at the campsite. A quick good deed of the day from Dom’s group involving pushing a van out of the mud provided a great warm up to a rainy but fun day of paddling. Because of the calm waters, Liam decided that paddling over branches sticking out the water would liven up the day and it was only when we got to something a bit choppier that he put his feet back in the boat!

The swim count rose throughout the day, and Dom’s underwater adventures CONTINUED as he decided to take a dip on Henlan Falls along with all the freshers who attempted it and came oh so close to surviving dry (there weren’t many of us) but it was all good wet fun and what would a weekend paddling be without a swim? Jack Ward’s first swim for many many months gave him a bit of a shock to the system and it was with this and some impressive boat rescuing skills that we finished paddling and trecked up to the waiting minibuses to get naked on the side of the road.

I think the only thing left to mention is the well-earned bootie beer of Gareth who, on finishing packing up the buses and strapping all the kayaks to the roof racks, tried to get in to drive one and realised he had somehow misplaced his keys. The misplaced keys were in his drysuit pocket, in his kayak, on the roof. There is video evidence I believe, and well done Gareth for accepting the consequences of being an absolute numpty. :)  And so with that the weekend ended and we drove back through Sheep-shagging country towards home, stopping off at McDonalds in Aber, where on seeing a group of people he really did not want to offend, Adi made a quick dash into the toilets to whiten himself up. The Jacks remained rather tanned until they got home.

ALSO despite sincerely missing Spud and Ruth :( :(  who came and went throughout the weekend, congrats have to be given to them for their volunteering with River Legacy to help run the entire weekend!! Oh, and Ruth well done on pulling the DJ (though not sure which one?) and on an old LUCC romance apparently. Also mentions go to Spud for relighting Alps romance in her sexy pink tent... At least it wasn't a filing cabinet this time. Cheeky.

Teifi= DONE. Here’s to not remembering much of the next one!! :)

Life’s Short- Paddle Hard.

PADDLING LOVE & WETNESS GUARANTEED

Hannah ‘Double J apparently I like shoulder blades ’  James-Johnson
 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Victims of Teifi 2012: Dom’s roll mat. RIP. Gabby and Jack, you filthy filthy people. Keep it in your pants or on your own roll mat.

Best Achievement of Teifi '12: Jak Hills's 4 litres in 4 hours cider challenge. 

Canoe polo 21-10-12

One Sunday morning in mid October I was rudely awakened at 08:05 by my ringtone and, wondering who on earth was calling me so early on a Sunday morning, I reached for my phone to see it was Lloyd. I answered the phone to find he was outside ready and raring to go for a day of intense polo competition, at which point it became apparent that he hadn’t got the message that the start time was 10.30 not 08:30!

It turned out well for him as I provided the bacon butties and set about preparing food to go in the slow cooker which would surely be much needed by the end of the tournament! We set off for the docks to meet up with our team mates at Liverpool Marina, with myself and fellow Liverpool University Canoe Club members Lloyd, Tolly and Greg joining Darren, Tom, Gibbo and Keith to represent Liverpool Canoe Club. Once kitted up we paddled the short distance round to the Mersey Sport Centre in Queens Dock. Somehow Greg managed to get lost in the fog so Tolly and I set off in search of our lost fresher and with the help of a sighting from a dragon boat crew managed to quickly track him down.

The tournament is a regular fixture organised and hosted by local club Friends of Allonby Liverpool Canoe Club who had entered 2 teams, as had Liverpool Canoe Club and Bangor University, guaranteeing 5 games for each team for the bargain price of £5.00 per person, and as its local the bare minimum of travel was required.

Photo taken from http://friendsofallonby.org.uk/the-club/disciplines/canoe-polo

There was a mixed bag of results for both Liverpool CC teams playing against a variety of abilities from beginner/development players through to players that have represented Great Britain, with 8 minute halves being played. As we only had 8 players in total and polo teams consisting of 5 players, this meant playing for both teams and back to back matches for some players, except for when we had to play each other when we drafted in a couple of extras from other teams to make up the numbers, so everyone was exhausted by the end.

I also refereed my first ever competitive matches with the help of a qualified referee (thanks Darren), and there should be an opportunity to taking part in a referees course in the near future (details to be confirmed) which is a good way to learn the rules, and at tournaments a player from each team referees the match following their match, so the more referees per team the better.

It was a great way to spend a Sunday, thanks to all those that took part.

For those interested in playing polo the next FOA tournament is on Sunday 11th November, this is a great opportunity to try out those polo skills that can be acquired by attending the weekly polo sessions on Wednesdays at the university sports centre, the session is 19.30 to 20.30 so meet at sheds from 19:00 to take kit to the pool and make the most of the hour long session.

Anthony Kingdom is the clubs polo representative so any questions feel free to contact him luccpolo@gmail.com

Squirrel

Freshers’ Trip According to Schneiders (or fifty shades of LUCC)

Two minibuses and a van left sheds loaded with lots of paddlers, lots of boats and lots of kit. It all arrived in one piece at the Malt Kiln, Bardsea, and somehow along the way we picked up a black van carrying our buddies Ade and Jack, and Rhys picked up half a grass verge for some reason, best not to ask. To existing paddlers’ dismay, the usual pub was boarded up! L Luckily there was ANOTHER PUB only 300 yards down the road which we promptly colonised. I thought the fact that it had white tablecloths might mean it was too posh for the likes of us but they let us all in, even me in my wellies and trackies.

The cereal box game among others provided Friday night’s entertainment...

Sausage sandwiches for breakfast got everyone out of bed. The Captain and Vice-Captain still half asleep snuggled under the stairs doesn’t look great when most of the freshers are awake so we had to get up, although I was sorry to leave Earnie’s new down sleeping bag I had nicked.

We reached a glassy surfaced Coniston Water in beautiful morning sunshine, to discover that the beach we usually get on at had definitely shrunk since last year i.e. the water was high. After a pleasant morning’s paddling of coaching and games, we stopped for a picnic lunch and Earnie and Liam waded across a marsh to give us the news that the Crake was even more un-fresher-friendly than usual being over bank full with lots of new trees at no extra charge. Ade, Squirrel, Jack and Fred paddled it after lunch and confirmed that the river wide trees did not make it an ideal run. 

Solution: go GORGE WALKING instead! This turned out to be an amazing decision (thank you Kim), and after some questions over access we went anyway and trekked off up Church Beck out of Coniston village. It involved scrambling over rocks, swimming and wading across pools, climbing up waterfalls and leaping off ledges, all that adventurous intrepid stuff us kayakers like to do, especially when cameras are involved. We even found a siphon to crawl through, what fun! I think the whole thing could be described as invigorating, and especially refreshing if you are not lucky enough to own a drysuit!

We surprised ourselves by eating nearly 8 kilos of bolognese back at the Malt Kiln, which was then worked off by many many games, most of which descended into brawls and/or bloodshed quite fast. Spoons, human pyramids, sockwrestling (a particular favourite), and even musical chairs! Even the card games were bloodthirsty!

Breakfast was sausage sandwiches again, proving to be the most faff free and least messy freshers’ trip breakfast ever. Jack and Liam competed for the most sausages eaten – I think this was won by Master Jack Greenwood, I can’t remember if he consumed 12 or 14 sausages! Correct me if I’m wrong! This was followed by a sunlit group yoga session in the car park, to limber everyone up for paddling...

... the Greta! I think it is safe to say mine was the best group – we a) started at the back and overtook Kim’s and Tolly’s groups, b) had only ONE swim, and c) were the only group to finish the river! Chris and Rhys were technically in charge, seconded by me and Adi. Our trusting followers were Graham, Jack, Gabby and Andy. Gabby invented the nose brace, while Andy styled a boof with an impressive amount of air. Aside from a few pauses for unpinning, we had a great run down. As for the other groups, all I saw when we overtook was smiling rescuers and rescuees alike, and great opportunities for throwlining practice and de-pinning manoeuvres.

Our group got off to find Fred, Liam and Ade waiting for us. We got changed, attacked the lunch, played football in the car park and sunned ourselves whilst watching out for the other groups. Eventually a Lone Red Squirrel appeared and told us the others were a long way behind. Nearly an hour and a half after Chris’s Crew had got off, the three LCC guys paddled up and told us that Team Tolly and Kim’s Cohort were off the river further upstream feeling a bit on the damp/cold/tired side. Mine and Chris’s expert van loading was interrupted to drive to the rescue, although when they appeared warm and dry and heard food mentioned everyone looked reasonably happy, so we took over both chip shops in Keswick.

We all made it back to Liverpool in one piece apart from some paddles, although my bus missed unloading the van (what a shame) because we had to make an unplanned detour to get fuel as our petrol situation suddenly got nervous on the M62. Good job it was downhill.

I think it was an ace weekend and I hope everyone enjoyed themselves! A huge thank you to our Trip Sec, drivers, chefs, gamemasters, photographers, river leaders and seconders, rescuers and especially freshers... J