TEIFI TOUR 2016

Teifi has been hailed by many in the club as one of the best trips, a weekend filled with carnage, and as it was my first year and I can now concede that it was indeed a whirlwind, or perhaps that was just Andy’s driving. After arriving to the sheds slightly late (as always) to find no truck outside, the fear that John upheld his threat of leaving a man behind struck. Luckily, the arrival of others soothed me only then to discover that Jess had locked herself out! And so the waiting began.
After laying in a kayak for what seemed hours, we were off! The customary Asda pit-stop was topped off with the stealing of a trolley, with Jess and John pulling away in panic with the van door barely closed. Now, the journey picked up a bit, not only with alcohol, but also with speed, which I can account for doesn't make the best combination!
After several questionable pit stops, the state in which we arrived may not have been the classiest - let’s just say that someone who wishes to remain anonymous (and is definitely not the writer and is definitely not to blame) may have left the inside of the minibus in a stinking puke covered state! However this did not deter from continuing the Teifi carnage. A quick change for said puke covered person (who only brought one top for the evening, thus reduced to stealing others!!) and off to set up the tents! Lots of drunk stumbling in the dark then finally off to the party tent. It was a great night topped off with a trip around the field in the trolley (with unfortunate video evidence).
The waking up of the next day was not so great, with hooligans banging on pans in the early hours and the lovely sight of john’s breakfast in a can, a slow start was inevitable. But with JJ rallying the troops, we eventually made it to the river. Setting off felt a bit shaky with a hangover but with some encouragement and a big splash to the face on the first rapid, I perked up quickly, only to find miles of slow moving water. After a decade, we eventually arrived to the last section: a waterfall? Seemed so in person, but looking back on pictures brings doubts. Let’s say a small drop, and yet too much for me. The river split into two with another unfriendly looking drop that we were told to avoid. Obviously my kayak wasn’t listening as it dragged me towards it after an unmentioned turbulent channel, and in my feeble attempt to escape this drop I hit the dividing rocks and was knocked over. Luckily my spray deck popped off in time for me to go over the drop alone as my boat didn’t make it any further. I was quickly rescued by the safety team and yet the same cannot be said for my kayak. It was pinned for a painfully long amount of time especially to all the other kayakers waiting at the top (apologies), but once free my kayak had received severe injuries ending it’s river career - RIP.
After discovering that Joshua Spencer was the youngest of the two freshers (yay for me) it was demanded that he bought porn from a local shop under the premise of it being “tradition”. After trying one shop, Josh was very determined to get his porn and went into another with an elderly female owner. It’s great to see Josh’s reenactment of this interaction and I’m sure that we have forced him to tell everyone about it since, and if you haven’t seen it - ASK.
Onto the second night of Teifi, we thought we’d be cool kids and skip the pool games and pre drink forever by ourselves in a little circle in the middle of a dark field. Josh 1 spent the entire time being super social by quietly sitting making his cactus costume as neat as his drunk brain could manage. Despite his best attempts to make his costume so dapper, this didn’t deter from him getting slapped by a blonde in the course of the evening. Drunk and late, we were off to the tent! All except one, Alice was still napping and woke mad at Josh 2 for nearly missing the whole night. The night, however, consisted of lots of plots to steal cowboy hats and sombreros, pistols
shots that killed Josh 2 and lots of dunkings into the pool; the most commendable would be the failed attempt of adam that ended in jess being dumped onto her head, or Josh’s dunk that almost cost him his hearing aid. After several swims myself and the stealing of shoes, my night ended memorably by dancing in pjs to the cha cha.
The next morning was rough, especially for the panicked Callum who thought he was still at pre drinks, and whoever's air mattress was tossed onto the lake. Slowly, we start we packed up, which involved throwing lots of food at me, including ham unknowingly being on my hat - very funny guys. And after stealing some more shoes, I was able to make it back home on a drive far less perilous than the one it took to get there. Great trip overall, even if I was a mess most the time.

By Faye Ferris

2017, HERE WE COME!

Hope you're all ready for a fun-filled 2017! The blog has been pretty quiet recently, but the last few trips of 2016 were ones to remember! Teifi Tour was, as always, filled with adventure and shenanigans, our spontaneous day trips all ran smoothly and Christmas Paddle was the most festive we've ever had!
Watch this space for more tales of of tragedies and triumphs when LUCC continues to take to the water in 2017...